I have a few things to discuss today, which is saying a lot considering nothing happens anymore that's worth blogging about. And what better way to discuss things than to compile them into one of "Ashli's-Famous-Let's-Talk-About-These-Things-List".
1. "Jeepers, Creepers"
I wish I could get off with saying that I'm going to write an eagerly-awaited review on this terrible 2001 horror film, but that would be too easy. In today's news, we're discussing the all-around creepy man. Because I seem to attract extremely creepy people. Like the one's that you find leaning closer to you because you "smell good." Or the one's who just straight up ask you to hook up. And then you get the clearly mentally-unstable who threaten to poison themselves if you don't love them back. (No offense, Juliette. That whole thing was cool in your day.) Anyway, last week I ran into a former-stalker of mine from about 3 years ago. He would always follow me around, call me, tell me he was in love with me, and other things that creepy men do that are considered the norm. I haven't seen him in years, and there he was, sitting in the reception desk where I was supposed to be working. Conversation as follows:
Creep: "Oh.. hellooo, Ashli."
Me: "... Hi."
Creep: "It's sooo good to see you." Creeps like to draw out the "o" vowel.
Me: "..."
Creep: "You working here?"
Me: "Yeah."
Creep: "Do you still go to Atlantic?"
Me: "No."
Creep: "Oooh, so you're graduated. That's really cool. Soooo good to see you." *creepy smirk*
I didn't even remember this guy's name, and he still remembered what high school I went to. I've seen him 3 more times since that instance. (I've typed, erased, and retyped a clever concluding sentence, but it's not working.) So here's an old-time favourite, "FIN."
2. Instant Shiny Objects
Lately, I've been doing this thing where I start talking about something, by the way, I'm 18 pages away from finishing The Lightning Thief, and then my mind goes in a completely different direction, which is a lot like the Harry Potter series, actually, and I link thoughts together, I've found myself making comparisons to Rowling's work throughout the entire novel. (Ha.) Oh, and as soon as I finish the book, stay tuned for a Harry Potter vs. Percy Jackson-themed blog. So anyway, my mind has been trailing off into weird places. I read a book entitled, Looking for Alaska, *SPOILER ALERT* a character was said to have "died instantly upon impact." And as the story went on, it asks the question of what is *instant*. Is it one second? Three seconds? Half a second? Or did she never even make it past one second? Here's a list of self-claimed "instant" things:
a. Instant Pudding. Duration: Approximately 7-10 minutes.
b. Instant Jell-O. Duration: 4 hours.
c. Instant Rice. Duration: 5 minutes.
d. Instant Oatmeal. Duration: 2.5 minutes.
e. Instant Messaging. Duration: (depending on the speed of one's internet) 1.2 seconds.
f. Google Instant. Duration: 4-7 seconds.
So what is instant? One of the many well-strung thoughts my mind has vomited up upon dazing out. If anyone can give me an answer to this question, send the answer to This Email Address Here! like you were supposed to do with the punishments. -.- *notbitter*
I'm not sure where I was going with this post.. so I'll just say,
FIN.
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