"I Vaant to Eat My Chapsteek!"

I know fall officially started on September 23rd and that I should have posted an I-Love-Fall post on the 23rd, but I just feel that fall shouldn't officially begin until October 1st in Florida. I know this sounds incredibly hypocritical of me, considering I've been preparing for the holiday season since August. I was caught playing the ever-faithful Christmas radio station on Pandora and yes, I was mocked without mercy.  But I've seriously been obsessing. I've watched Hocus Pocus, Halloweentown(s) 1 & 2, The Scream Team, Don't Look Under the Bed, and Tower of Terror. Oh, and the Johnny Bravo Meets Scooby-Doo episode. I also have this really delicious Fall-Fusion chapstick that tastes like pumpkin and vanilla and if I were three or really desperate, I would definitely be eating it right now. In addition, I tossed around the idea of decorating my cubicle in Halloween spirit, but decided against it for "professional" purposes. 

It's that time again where Ashli confesses a part of herself that no one thought true - but I'm a major wimp when it comes to scary movies. (I had nightmares about Edward Scissorhands, [which apparently is a love story?] for weeks.) But with the hurricane we had last weekend, and Halloween upon us, I took it upon myself to gather the courage and watch the Scream Trilogy. During the day, with my sister awake next to me, and popcorn to semi-occupy me, I was completely okay with Scream & Scream 2. But when my sister fell asleep, and the day grew into 2AM, and I couldn't pack any more popcorn kernels into my teeth, I was terrified throughout Scream 3. My eyes were shut most of the movie, and before I went to sleep, I had to run to my room, turn on all of the lights, and watch Aladdin to take my mind off of it. I also thought my dad's jacket hanging in the garage was going to kill me. It's really, really pathetic. But I'm definitely sticking to Halloweentown from now on... o.O  

Besides the decorations, colours, movies, costumes, candy, and chapstick, the fall runs of all of my favourite shows resume! 

I usually stick to the same shows or don't watch telly at all because either the shows I love get cancelled, or they're absolutely horrible. But, I branched out this fall. (Pardon the pun.)

New show: Pan-Am (ABC, Sunday nights, 10PM) When I was first introduced to this show, I thought it was going to be some lame airline documentary. (Pardon the ERAU blasphemy). But it's the most un-documentaryesque show. Set in the early 1960's with flashbacks to the 1950's, the show draws out what it was like to fly Pan-Am, be a stewardess for Pan-Am, and your occasional Cold War conspiracy. The majority of ABC dramas all have that "ABC touch" - and it's very similar to the styling of LOST with the flashbacks, and the secrets, and how the island airline brought all of these very different people with very different backgrounds together, and each story is released a little bit more as each episode goes on. I'm 4 episodes in and I'm absolutely hooked. I definitely recommend this show. 

Oldie but Goodie: CASTLE! (ABC, Monday nights, 10PM) I've been with this show since it aired in 2009. The best way I can describe it, is it's your classic crime scene investigation show with less melodramatic acting, more humour, an underdeveloped love story, and the "ruggedly handsome," Nathan Fillion. Last season ended with the most intense finale *SPOILER* with Detective Kate Beckett being shot and Castle telling her he loves her (FINALLY). The premier was just as intense. And so far, I have yet to be disappointed. There's been super villains, Shakespeare, disappearing bodies..AH. I recommend this show in a heartbeat. <3

New Flop: Terra Nova (Fox, Monday nights, 8PM) I was so excited for this show because anything that has to do with a dystopian society trying to reach utopia interests me. Plus, it has dinosaurs. I could have not wanted to eat my words more than after seeing the season premier. The writing is poorly done: your typical corny humor and really bad acting. And where a child getting a scratch on his/her knee calls for the S.W.A.T team to investigate. And there's ALWAYS a power-hungry, "men-suck", blood-thirsty woman, who always speaks in sarcasm and downgrades the male species with her ability to shoot 36 different targets at one time. There's so many flaws to this show, I can't even list them all. Last week, it was Attack of the Birds at Terra Nova, and among the pecking and scratching, one poor soul was knocked unconscious and rolled away on a gurney equipped with oxygen mask. I was informed that perhaps the victim was allergic to birds and that's why he was in need of oxygen, but I'm still convinced it was another one of Fox's ploys for a dramatic moment. I will say though, the only thing this show has going for it is it's indefatigable way to keep giving me reasons to laugh and mock the show. And it gives me something to do every Friday night because a few of my friends and my sister get together, and over our pizza, drop jaws at the man who just fell 500 feet flat on his back on a pile of thorns and manages to miraculously stand up quick on his feet, without a scratch to his back. It's remarkable. If it isn't obvious, I don't recommend this show. Unless you really enjoy commentating on poor writing and lack of acting talent. 

On Fish Puns and Drowning

My financial advisor of my blog has informed me that for the good of the people and our business, he recommends a new post every other day. Considering I have a tendency to break 90% of goals I set for myself, I don't plan on blogging every other day. I feel as if my life-that-is-characterized-as-non-mundane will become mundane. You can't force a good story, they just have to happen. So anyway, now that I'm done going against my CFO's advice on how to make billions of dollars via blog post, let's make it aware that is in fact, October, and also in fact, the end of my mini-bucket-bucket list time.                                                                     

 RECAP:

1. Completed - I read 1 chapter every night of a new book. And it felt amazing.

2. Completed - I said "as many as possible" for a reason. I ended up finishing the first 3 seasons of Sex and the City. Considering those are the only complete seasons the library has shelved. 

3. FAIL - I was working out every day up until about 2 weeks ago when I got sick. Then, I got lazy. 

4. FAIL - I realized, once again, how I poor I am. 

5. Extreme fail - I think I went 10 days without a blog post. 

6. Failfailfail - Still wearing the same polish from 3 weeks ago. 

7. COMPLETED! I got an A on 3 Biology quizzes and my air traffic exam.

8. Completed! (For now) - I finally met a normal bloke in ATC. He's hilarious, hasn't stabbed me in the back, and doesn't look like a creature from the black lagoon. (Yes, this is how I judge Friend Criteria) 

9. Uhm, fail - I think I fell asleep once in weather. 

10. Completed - I actually earned 7.5 hours of lab time. 

Honestly, 5 pass and 5 fail is a lot better than I thought I would do so I'm not punishing myself because a) I just feel like being a rebel b) I'm happy with the outcome and let's be honest, c) No one's going to send me punishments anyway. 

Moving forward: Last week, a few of my friends and I suddenly decided we'd dive into a reely big war of fish puns. Soon enough though, we felt pretty gilty for being so crabby towards each other; we realized it was because we were so jelly of each other's ability to be the class clown fish. In the end, we roetated our way of thinking and decided we didn't want coralling within our grouper and remain friends instead of anemones. And whale, now we're the best of friends again.
I realize this isn't my best material as far as stories go, but it was a major highlight to my week because I sat in my cubicle, silently laughing to myself - probably looking slightly deranged. But, what else is new.


So this past weekend my family and I were at a timeshare-pool-hotel-thing. And for some reason, children have this tendency to seek and find me in hopes of becoming my best friend. Which, they always succeed and I always end up babysitting this stranger's child. At the current time, I had a 6 year old girl following me around in her floaties and inner-tube - dressed to the nines in safety devices. While I, the near-20-year-old from Daytona Beach who has yet learned how to swim, is doggy paddling for dear life in this 10-foot deep water-filled pit of doom. As I'm envying the child's safety gear, she notices my struggle to stay afloat, and offers me her inner-tube. Normally, I'm not one to disarm a child of her safety device, but I was like, dying, so I figured I had a legitimate reason. Anyway, I was in this tube for all of 4 minutes when I realized the tube sort of shape-shifting from this: "O" to this: "0" and curving up on the sides. I decided it was time to squeeze myself out of this tube and paddle myself to the safe and welcoming, 3 feet 6 inches area. But as I was struggling to get out, this child decides she wants a piggy back ride and I, of course, am the piggy who sinks to the bottom upon the child clawing her way up my back. Naturally, my body decides to swallow a ton of water..because what would drowning be without swallowing water, right? And I'm screaming and trying to throw this piggy-back-riding-six-year-old off of me and after much struggle, she finally gets the hint that I'm like dying, like, again. So I'm choking and all of the post-drowning-things you're supposed to do after being held under by a six year old in pink princess water wingies. No big deal though, I'm just never being dubbed babysitter in the pool ever again. 

Reading is a "No-No"

It's Banned Books Week!

It's that time of year again, folks - where we honour the beautiful pieces of literary work that government throws out of our public schools and public libraries because they're "controversial" and could cause angry parents to sue the school system for letting his or her child read such filth. This "filth" is anything that has to do with: Offensive language, violence, having an occult* theme or promoting the occult of Satanism, being unsuited for an age group (<--the absolute most GENERIC reason to ban a book), promoting homosexuality, racism, sexual education, being anti-family, promoting a religious viewpoint, and/or nudity.

To me, the banning of books is just another way for parents to put on the facade of "Parent of the Year." It's like when someone curses in public and every soccer mom with her 18 kids turns around and says, "There are children present!" and runs to cover their 36 ears on their 18 heads with her 36 hands. When you know good and well, that an hour ago on the soccer field, she was sailor-mouthing the terrain in alphabetical order. They just want to cause a stink and be that parent who "made a difference in their child's life." Of course you made a difference - you deprived them solid, rich, and thrilling literature. You're shoving The My Little Pony Adventures and Go, Dog, Go! down their throats. Sue Douglass Fliess, author of education.com, made a fabulous closing argument in her 2007 article, "What Makes a Banned Book?" She states, 

"As parents, it’s up to you to decide how you want your children to learn about certain tough topics. But take a second to think back. When you were young, did you learn everything from your parents or had you possibly picked up a book or two?" I highly doubt any parent has ever marched into television stations like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, or MTV with a list of shows they need to ban for inappropriate content. Shows such as, Spongebob Squarepants have made figurative references to homosexuality, Wizards of Waverly Place references "occult" content, and Victorious has made figurative alcoholic references. And yet, these children's networks are still running shows with the same content. The same content in books that parents are causing a stink about to school boards and getting them banned. It just doesn't make sense to me. If you're going to ban something that you feel has inappropriate content, ban it from your own child and household, not the entire school. Be parent of the year to your own child, not to everyone else's. What's inappropriate to you, could be educational to another. Secondly, which would you rather ban: the inappropriate content that plays redundantly on television, turning your child's brain to "filthified" goo, or the inappropriate content that simultaneously strengthens vocabulary, spelling, imagination, and creativity? 

For those still lost, some examples of current and past banned books are:

-Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger: For sexual content, violence, and obscene language

-Catch 22 by Joseph Heller: For homosexuality, anti-military, and offensive language

-The Tales of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain: For slavery themes and inappropriate language

-Brave New World by Aldous Huxley: For inappropriate language, anti-family and anti-religion themes

-Harry Potter (Books 1-7) by J.K. Rowling: For the support of witchcraft and scary content

-The Giver by Lois Lowry: For support of suicide to achieve a Utopian society

By the way, I've read all of the above books, and they're all absolutely beautiful literary works. <3

*Occult:  Supernatural, mystical, or magical beliefs, practices, or phenomena

Muggles vs. Mortals: A Comparison Between Mr. Percy and Mr. Potter

"I don't go looking for trouble; trouble usually finds me." 

~Harry Potter

"I won't go looking for trouble. I usually don't have to." 

~Percy Jackson

I finally finished The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan. This 375 page fantasy novel is the first book in the Percy Jackson and The Olympians series. I don't feel like typing out a whole synopsis - but I definitely recommend it. If you're dying for a synopsis, click This Good Source for Synopses!. And if you enjoy that link, and don't have a chance to get to a library near you, click This Good Source For Online Reads! to enjoy a free online version of this book. Now, for the compare and contrast. *WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS*

1. The Trios - Harry, Hermione, Ron vs. Percy, Annabeth, Grover 

Harry and Percy are both heroes, both unaware of their status until they reach the appropriate age. Hermione and Annabeth are both the only female in the Trio and the brains of the group. Grover and Ron are the best friends of the heroes and eat almost anything. 

2. Half-bloods...

...Are both evident in each story and have the same meaning. One mortal parent, one magical parent. 

3. Percy vs. Harry 

a. Percy never knows of his blood father, Harry never meets his blood-parents. 

b. Both heroes grow up in bad home-conditions as children. 

c. Percy destroys his math teacher, Harry destroys his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the first book of the series. 

d. Harry's dreams are connected to Voldemort's thoughts, Percy's dreams are connected to Kronos' thoughts. 

4. Harry has an invisibility cloak given to him by his father, Annabeth has an invisibility cap given to her by her mother.

5. Kronos' and Voldemort's voices are both described as cool and oily. 

6. Hogwarts and Yancy Academy are both boarding schools. 

7. Muggles and Mortals are both said to not notice magic activity. 

8. Both main characters are asked to save the world at such a young age. 

I wish I still had this book to references more similarities. Through this entire book, I kept saying to myself, "Oh my gosh, that's JUST like in Harry Potter where (fill in the blank with Harry Potter circumstance.)" BUT sadly, I dropped the book off without realizing that I still needed to write this blog. In short, if you love Harry Potter, you'll love Percy Jackson.

 SO GO READ THIS BLOODY SERIES! <3

"My Pepper Jack Cheez-Its Taste Like Baby Food Carrots"

Right now, I shouldn't be blogging. I shouldn't be distracted. I shouldn't be rambling about the strange comparative nature between Pepper Jack Cheez-Its and baby food carrots. I should be doing Economics homework. But I'm not. So, here we go. 
I have a few things to discuss today, which is saying a lot considering nothing happens anymore that's worth blogging about. And what better way to discuss things than to compile them into one of "Ashli's-Famous-Let's-Talk-About-These-Things-List". 
1. "Jeepers, Creepers"
I wish I could get off with saying that I'm going to write an eagerly-awaited review on this terrible 2001 horror film, but that would be too easy. In today's news, we're discussing the all-around creepy man. Because I seem to attract extremely creepy people. Like the one's that you find leaning closer to you because you "smell good." Or the one's who just straight up ask you to hook up. And then you get the clearly mentally-unstable who threaten to poison themselves if you don't love them back. (No offense, Juliette. That whole thing was cool in your day.) Anyway, last week I ran into a former-stalker of mine from about 3 years ago. He would always follow me around, call me, tell me he was in love with me, and other things that creepy men do that are considered the norm. I haven't seen him in years, and there he was, sitting in the reception desk where I was supposed to be working. Conversation as follows:
Creep: "Oh.. hellooo, Ashli."
Me: "... Hi." 
Creep: "It's sooo good to see you." Creeps like to draw out the "o" vowel. 
Me: "..."
Creep: "You working here?"
Me: "Yeah."
Creep: "Do you still go to Atlantic?"
Me: "No."
Creep: "Oooh, so you're graduated. That's really cool. Soooo good to see you." *creepy smirk*
I didn't even remember this guy's name, and he still remembered what high school I went to. I've seen him 3 more times since that instance. (I've typed, erased, and retyped a clever concluding sentence, but it's not working.) So here's an old-time favourite, "FIN."
2. Instant Shiny Objects 
Lately, I've been doing this thing where I start talking about something, by the way, I'm 18 pages away from finishing The Lightning Thief, and then my mind goes in a completely different direction, which is a lot like the Harry Potter series, actually, and I link thoughts together, I've found myself making comparisons to Rowling's work throughout the entire novel. (Ha.) Oh, and as soon as I finish the book, stay tuned for a Harry Potter vs. Percy Jackson-themed blog. So anyway, my mind has been trailing off into weird places. I read a book entitled, Looking for Alaska, *SPOILER ALERT* a character was said to have "died instantly upon impact." And as the story went on, it asks the question of what is *instant*. Is it one second? Three seconds? Half a second? Or did she never even make it past one second? Here's a list of self-claimed "instant" things: 
a. Instant Pudding. Duration: Approximately 7-10 minutes.
b. Instant Jell-O. Duration: 4 hours.
c. Instant Rice. Duration: 5 minutes.
d. Instant Oatmeal. Duration: 2.5 minutes.
e. Instant Messaging. Duration: (depending on the speed of one's internet) 1.2 seconds. 
f. Google Instant. Duration: 4-7 seconds.
So what is instant? One of the many well-strung thoughts my mind has vomited up upon dazing out. If anyone can give me an answer to this question, send the answer to This Email Address Here! like you were supposed to do with the punishments. -.- *notbitter*
I'm not sure where I was going with this post.. so I'll just say, 

FIN.

Status Report:

 First, I want to start off with a heart-felt apology for taking over a week to post new content. Here's a little apology I've been practicing in the mirror for the past three hours:

"I'm heart-feltly sorry for taking over a week to post new content."

Whew, now that that's off of my chest...

Status Report on my Mini-Bucket Bucket List for September: 

1. I got a new book! "The Lightning Thief" - it's fictional Greek Mythology, fantasy, and hilarious, and I'm in love. And I've kind of been reading more than one chapter a day because I'm a book addict. 

2. So far, I've gotten the whole first season of Sex and the City and completed it! Getting the second season tomorrow since the bloody library closed when I went today. -.-

3. Crunches... not so much. But I've been working out on the Wii Fit everyday? Count? Yes? No?

4. Still haven't found money to buy two more books.. 

5. Already failed this - had a busy, and yet not-eventful-enough-to-blog-about-week.

6. I've repainted my nails. 

7. Not applicable - haven't had any exams yet! 

8. Still haven't made a normal friend. Everyone I've met fits into one (or in some cases two) 

of two categories: 

     a. The Nonversationalist: (aka: One who can't hold a conversation) 

           aa. They consist of three statements: "Hey." "How are you?" "How are classes?" And then they kind of just nod and agree because they are incapable of forming their own opinions or stories; this is then followed by a pursed lip and broken eye contact, which in turn, ends the conversation. In response to the previously stated, I could say, "Hey." "Suicidal." and "I murdered my weather professor today, so that class is good now." And they would nod and agree. 

     b. The Play-Flaker: (aka: One who makes all of the plans to hang out, but never follows through)

             bb. This has happened to me on at least 4 occasions in the past two weeks. Conversation is as follows: "Hey! Oh my gosh, how are you? (For the record, the "Hey, how are you" is stated throughout all groups of people, it's just the inflection that changes. Inflection is key.) I haven't seen you in forever! Let's totally go to the beach/movies/dinner/lunch/salon/apartment/club/whatever this weekend! Text me!" But you know something? They never say, "I'll. Text. You." This way, when you don't text them, because you weren't really sure if they were being serious or fake, the blame is on you for falling through with the plans. So they've played you - and flaked out on you. The Play-Flaker. 

So in short, no, I've not made one normal friend yet. 

9. Uhm, failed this one. I fell asleep in class Wednesday morning. So start thinking up a punishment for me. 

10. Still in progress! But so far, I only need an hour and half more until I reach six, so I'll definitely be over. 

I have two punishments already! PLEASE submit punishments in the comments, or email them to This Email Address, here! if you don't have a blogger account. 

Deuces and juices. 

It's September!

The majority of the American population falls into a cultural fad of "New Year's Resolutions." We all make them, we all break them. It gets to be this recurring cycle of performing bad habits or not performing good habits all year long until January 1st, 12:01AM. And we make a list of changes we promise we're going to keep this time. Common items include: lose weight, read a book a week, lose more weight, read a bible verse daily, eat healthy (to lose weight), and exercise for 30 minutes a day...to lose weight. And then within a few days, we don't follow through with our promises, and wait an entire year again, to make the same resolutions we're just going make, break, and then wait again for. A catch-22.

I, too, fall into this tradition. For example, last year my resolutions were:

1. Write down my dreams daily.

2. Learn a new word each day.

3. Some other third thing.

I kept the first resolution going for about 2 weeks. The second, about 2 days. And the third...I don't even remember what it was; henceforth, the chances of any effort being put forth to act on the resolution are slim to none. 

It just occurred to me, why do we wait an entire year to change our bad habits or create good ones? Why not start today? Or every week pick a new thing to change. Or every month? <-- See where I'm going with this? I've decided that at the start of each month, I'm going to make a Mini-Bucket Bucket List. (Yes, I did this for summer vacation, but you have to admit, it worked out swimmingly.) The list will consist of things to do and habits to change. At the end of the month, for every item not completed on the list, I will give myself a punishment. (Not eating 105 tomatoes.) Reasonable punishments include: I can't go on Facebook for the entire next month, or I can't drink any soda the next month, et cetera, et cetera. For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you know of the 30-Day Challenges I used to do. One month consisted of no Facebook, another, no junk food. The punishments will be like this, except these will be, um, punishments - not voluntary acts of "bettering my self-motivation, self-control, and self-whatever-else-is-uplifting." In closing, 

My Mini-Bucket-Bucket-List for the Month of September: 

1. Read at least one chapter of a NEW book of my liking every night, no matter how tired I am.

2. Go to the library and get as many seasons of Sex and the City as possible and actually make time to watch them. 

3. Do a minimum of 25 crunches/sit-ups a day.

4. Buy 2 books to start my Life's Library.

5. Blog at least twice a week. 

6. Paint or "touch-up" my nails every Friday night. 

7. Make an A on at least 2 out of 5 "First-Exams-of-the-Semester."

8. Make one normal friend. 

9. Not fall asleep in class.

10. Have more than six hours of practice time in the simulation labs for ATC. 

Going to keep this updated as things are accomplished and in-progress. Be thinking of good punishments; the chances of me succeeding at all of this are highly unrealistic.